I have to admit,
I have not looked forward to this day,
This first Mother’s Day without you,
Afraid of the pain that I knew would creep
From its hiding place in my heart.
And, yes, the pain came in waves,
Rocking my carefully built barriers,
Accompanied by tears of loss,
Tears of memory,
Tears of gratitude.
My mind filled with the things I wish I could tell you,
Forgiveness I wish I could ask,
Laughter I wish we could share.
I know you are with me,
I feel your loving spirit,
My Guardian Angel,
But I would be lying if I said today doesn’t hurt,
As I ponder what I have lost;
Your healing embrace,
Your twinkling blue eyes,
The inspiration of your indefatigable strength,
Your stories of the ‘olden days’,
Our daily talks,
Your unwavering love and support,
Your infectious giggle,
You were my anchor, my greatest love.
I also think of what I have gained;
An example of the truest love,
Strength and courage,
Priceless memories of joys and struggles,
A real appreciation for what is important.
A daughter’s gratitude never-ending,
Love goes on
And so, I celebrate you today,
As I will every single day,
Carrying your memory in my heart,
Standing tall and proud,
Living my life in love and laughter,
As you taught me to do.