If You Can’t Say Something Nice…

imageGrandma Schultz, Heavy D’s mother. 
I hear my mother’s words so clearly,

Your grandmother always said, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

She would say this phrase when someone showed unkindness or lashed out at me in anger, and I wanted so badly to strike back in my pain at the attack…human nature, I think. 

My mother and grandmother were right, though; when you give into the anger, you become just like the person who hurt you. Anger only begets more anger, and I don’t want to live my life that way. 

I love the Buddha quote, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

So many people seem to hang onto anger like a religion.  Stirring the pot and fanning the flames to draw others to their side. You see it all around you, especially on the bully pulpits of the Internet, where it is so easy to have one-sided arguments, twisting the truth to draw support. 

It seems to be a very unhappy life to depend on anger…and it doesn’t draw very good people to you, either. I hear there’s not much laughter in those crowds, so I’ll opt out. In actuality, those people really just end up making themselves look foolish and petty. 

I’ll admit that sometimes it’s tough to turn the other cheek when faced with persistent anger. But I won’t forget my grandmother’s words. I really believe that we draw to us what we put out into the world. 

With that in mind, I will let the angry people have their ‘fun’. I think I’ll focus on the good things in my life- a much more rich and fulfilling way to spend my days. 

Instead of dueling with the angry, I will laugh with friends, teach my students, enjoy my creative side, do my best to help others find some joy in their day. There is so much more to life than having to be right with people who could never be convinced, no matter how much truth you presented to them. 

I send them peace, and I move on. There is so much good out there, and I’m on a mission to find it all. I hope the angry folks find whatever they are looking for…they just won’t find it with me. 


5 thoughts on “If You Can’t Say Something Nice…

  1. Reblogged this on Trail Mix and commented:
    Denise is a master at speaking eloquently from her heart. This post says volumes about the conscious decision to be happy rather than engaging in a pointless battle to be right.

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