Hello, my name is Denise, and I am an introvert. There, I said it. I just want you to understand some of my (many) idiosyncrasies, some of the things that make me me. There are several different types of introverts, so I’ll just share my own personal brand of whacky with you.
(Disclaimer: “Whacky” is a good thing…really, it is!)
Okay, here we go:
- Texting is one of the greatest creations ever. Why? As crazy as it sounds, talking on the phone – even answering the phone is really difficult for me. I have to be mentally prepared to interact with people. The only people I can try to guarantee I will always answer for are my husband, my sisters, and my best friend. Please never be offended- I will get there…usually in an email or text. It’s not you- it’s me.
- Being a musician is a perfect career for me. I spend lots of time by myself practicing, do lots of one-on-one teaching…even when I play in a large orchestra or in a recital, I am still in my own little world, interacting with small groups of people. Playing in front of hundreds of people is no big deal…it’s mingling with them afterwards that is so hard. Small talk is more challenging than learning to speak Swahili for me. It’s why I love writing, too. I feel like I am able to express myself so much more effectively through music or the written word over speaking. Just listen to me sometime- I am the tongue-tied queen when I am out of my element. Being inside my own head is where I feel most comfortable…as scary as that can be sometimes.
- Being in a crowd of people absolutely wears me out in every way- physically, mentally, and emotionally. I will interact, maybe even be the life of the party for a little bit- but then you will say, “Where did Denise go?” Denise will be hiding in a room in fetal position, trying to recharge my battery enough to escape to home. I have been known to exit out of a back window rather than face the crowd to get to the front door in dire circumstances. I truly do love people…just in small doses. Really small doses.
- I could be perfectly happy being by myself at home every moment of every day. You may invite me to go somewhere, and I may really want to go…but my first inclination will always be to hole up at my house. Again, please don’t take it personally- I am genetically part hermit. Home is my refuge, my safe place- and my dogs are here. Just sayin’.
- I am quiet because I am thinking carefully about what I want to say. I am not trying to be standoffish or angsty. There is an inner monologue going on in my brain most of the time (sometimes it’s pretty darn funny- if I could share it with you). It’s much better if I wait and filter through things before putting it out there- if I get that far. I promise.
- I am easily distracted with too much stimulation around me. And with the approach of menopause, that distraction can reach epic proportions at times. That’s why I prefer quiet and peaceful places…like home. See?
So…if you love an introvert, give them a little space, show them a little understanding when they react in ways that seem odd to you. I think you’ll find that most of us are pretty fun people in the right environment. And we’re usually pretty good at laughing at ourselves, too.
The View from Here 
Oh my goodness. I could have written this – every single word. Some members of my family especially (extroverted in-laws) don’t understand my lack of phone calls. (My mother was the same, abd some judged and criticized her for it, which just hurts and does not help an introvert.) I just physically and mentally can not do it, but I would text for hour, or email every day. Heck, I would even love to have good old fashioned letter writing correspondence. I have tried to change, thought I should change, become angry at the thought that people expect me to easily change. I am now settling in to I am who I am (thanks Popeye), and that is something I cannot change. The more they push, the more uncomfortable I feel and the more I retreat.
So how woulf you handle an extroverted brother and wife (wife especially) who want to come and visit for a week? I am almost in a panic at the thought of my safety zone being invaded.
Introverts unite! Thanks for sharing.
Jo
Sister introvert- welcome to the fold :)). As for your extrovert family visiting? I think I would make up the guest room, leave a nice crockpot of chili going for them…and check into a hotel. You can text them from there safely. 😁 Good luck!