The View from Here

UAB Highlands lobby. Sadly, I know it quite well…

I knew I shouldn’t have done it – what is wrong with me? I’ve now given my already over-active imagination a shot of adrenaline. Sadly, once I started reading the comments about the hardware removal surgery that I’m having done on my ankle tomorrow morning, I couldn’t stop. The comments ran the spectrum, everything from “Pretty much a non-event” to “Much more painful and complicated than anticipated”. You can guess which one I fixated on. Great. Oh, and then I found a video of the actual surgery in progress. I may never be the same again. 

I am sure that I am overreacting (I am the daughter of Heavy D, who was the medical drama queen). However, my confidence was not boosted by the four required pre-surgery videos that I watched this morning. Frequent mentions of “may cause death!” and other such grim possibilities that may happen due to the anesthesia or the surgery itself. I’m about ready to ask Mr. MacKenzie to pull out his power tools and take the damn metal out himself. Okay, maybe not. The last thing we need is the Birmingham edition of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Not a starring role I care to take on. 

I am doing my best to be a considerate patient for my husband. I have scrubbed the house from stem to stern, bathed the dogs, done the shopping, the laundry, taken the recycling, and cleaned out the kitchen cabinets (what- isn’t that on your pre-surgery list of must-do’s?). I even made cookies for the man. Unlike the original broken ankle repair six years ago, I shouldn’t be out of commission for very long at all, but in true Gainey fashion, I had to go waaay overboard in preparation. 

I’ve made lists of last-minute errands, things I need to make sure to take downstairs to have with me during my recuperation, lists of things to take care of at the office. You’d think I was going away for a year rather than what is supposed to be a simple out-patient procedure. At least that’s what my doctor said…the Internet has quite a different opinion. Who to trust, who to trust? I mean, you know everything you read on the Internet is true, right?

At this point, I have vowed not to look at anything having to do with ankle surgery on the computer again until my procedure is over. Too much information really isn’t helping matters. Time to buck up and just do this thing, and hopefully I’ll be back to kickboxing and yoga and normal life in no time flat, stronger and better than before. Or I’ll be dead. One or the other. Damn Google search engine.