Mr. MacKenzie Untethered

It has begun. Only three days into his retirement, and I came outside to find my husband on a ladder. A really tall ladder. A really tall ladder precariously placed on a rock outcropping between our two garages. Is it any wonder that I have to color my hair?

He decided that it was time to fix the loose flashing on the guesthouse…even though we (supposedly) have a hard and fast rule around our home that no ladders will be engaged without the wife unit present to help stabilize said ladder- and keep the phone set to dial 911. Just in case…I guess those rules are a’changin’ with the change in Mr. MacKenzie’s work status. Oh, and it got worse- he stood on top of the greenhouse roof to do these repairs; a roof made of two-by-fours spaced two feet apart and covered in plastic corrugated roofing sheets. No photos are available of this stunt because I was too busy being curled up in fetal position, clutching my phone to my chest and mumbling incoherently.

I thought that stress was done for the day when he finally came down to solid ground as I headed to the steep front hill to pull weeds. That is, until I saw this:

Yeah. That’s my husband on another tall ladder, but this time he’s where he could fall into an entire wall of glass and into the sunroom. Ah, the joys of impalement. I shook my head and went back to weeding. Even Sophie couldn’t watch at this point.

And, oh- it gets better. The next time I came up to the front yard from the hill, sweat dripping in my eyes, I heard a familiar voice calling me, coming from somewhere…somewhere up high. I looked up to see this:

Dear God…He crawled through our bedroom window to get out there.

This is what Shiva thought of this last stunt.

Mr. MacKenzie has a long list of house projects lined up, so I’m afraid that I’m going to come home to a lot of this. I’m either going to have to get him one of those bouncing bubble suits…or have a lot of this on hand…

Danhattans, anyone?

Stay tuned…oh- and buy stock in L’Oreal hair color and Maker’s Mark. I have a feeling they’re going to go sky high- at least in Southside, Birmingham. Mr. MacKenzie is officially untethered and armed with power tools. Now, where did I put my Tums?

3 thoughts on “Mr. MacKenzie Untethered

  1. I can so relate! My husband was on a ladder using a chain saw to remove some branches… He thought it “no big deal” while I was only able to imagine him falling (before or after) severing his leg or arm!!!

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