Top deck views…
I waited with great anticipation for our spring break at UAB. I have been a candle burning at both ends for a long time now, and have been dreaming of lazy and peaceful days spent reading out on the decks, weeding the yard (yard therapy), maybe a pedicure…just some time devoid of the frantic pace I’ve been living, a reduction of stress for a few days, medicinal time to read and to write. Heaven. Except that’s not what happened at all- at least so far.
Dad’s home! Sweet Sophie.
I had lots of things to take care of at the office – so much easier to do with the music building in rare quiet mode with most everyone gone. I did a school clinic, practiced a lot, worked long hours helping Dan get the guesthouse ready for our first AirBnB guests (which included running all over town to find what we needed many times). We have a big renovation going on at home, too, with all of the people, noise, and chaos that brings. I played a recording session with our UAB Chamber Trio….and now it’s early Friday morning, and I’ve been awake since 2:30am, Shiva sleeping on me, Dan and Sophie next to me, my mind spinning with all of the things I want to get done before this precious ‘free’ time is up and the crazy last weeks of the semester begin. It just doesn’t seem to be meant to be this time around.
Sunset from the top deck.
I’m not complaining- I love my full and fast-paced life. It’s just that I am noticing the signs that I need to find balance again with all of the things I love to do. I caught myself being short with Dan, something that is just not the norm for me. I am moody and weepy- also not me. My body is sending the message that it needs to recharge, to rest, to find a little time, a little quiet, for me. That is always difficult to do with my workaholic tendencies. Sigh.
Shiva the Diva…
Physically my body is telling me to slow down; I’m in physical therapy for neck and back issues, I have carpal tunnel in my right hand, and tendinitis in my rotator cuff. I’m struggling with trying to lose weight. I’m so used to feeling strong and invincible…and now those whispers of ‘you can’t do what you used to do anymore- you’re getting older’ are getting annoyingly louder.
Storm’s a’ brewin’!
Here’s the deal, though- I’m not ready to give up on this spring break quite yet- or on myself. There is still enough Pollyanna in me to believe that I can find that recharge time in the next couple of days. Yes, there are still some things that I have to go into the office to do and I have a rehearsal on Sunday afternoon, but I can find my moments of calm in the storm.
Sophie catching some sun in the music room.
I’m going to get out on the front hill to pull weeds (I know- crazy, but it is therapeutic for me to bond with my home and yard, especially with spring making it’s debut). I’m going to get in some spring cleaning, spend time with Dan- who has been incredibly busy this week, too, especially for someone who is supposed to be retired. I’m going to sit quietly and read with my animals- even crazy Shiva who becomes sweeter as time goes by (at least I don’t think she’s plotting to murder me in my sleep anymore…I hope). And hey- maybe I’ll even find time to get a pedicure. A girl can dream, right?
It’s all perspective; I can choose to focus on the busyness and the physical ailments, or I can be grateful for having a week with a different schedule, different challenges, and for the excitement of our new AirBnB adventure. Gratitude for pockets of time in which I can choose to do something fun and relaxing in a home that I love, and for a wonderful and understanding husband who loves me no matter how stressed out and whacky I get.
It boils down to my touchstone word every single time: gratitude. Dan often reminds us in yoga that gratitude keeps the gifts flowing. Everything can be a gift- even struggles, as they make the good stand out even more…and teach us important lessons. The best part? We can choose to be grateful no matter the situation. Totally up to us.
I’ll make sure to make time for gratitude no matter what. I’ve even put it into my schedule.