I woke up on this beautiful spring morning to the sounds of bird song through our open windows. For once I didn’t have to jump out of bed and race to be somewhere- such a luxury! This is my favorite time of year as the world awakens, creating a riot of color and life after what has been a cold and difficult winter.
So many things are swirling through my mind right now as I sit here; worries, anxieties, hopes, and a lot of gratitude. The semester has ended and I will go to school on Monday not to teach, but to play recording sessions with the UAB Chamber Trio and then a full schedule of rehearsals and concerts with the Alabama Symphony, and another recording session after that. It’s so nice to be able to totally focus on myself as a musician- back to my first love.
Sweet Sophie, practice buddy…
I have been overwhelmed for the past weeks with many different emotions as I work to break through a barrier that is keeping me from moving forward. I visualize it as a thick and smoky glass through which I can see murky images, but I cannot pass. There is enlightenment of some kind in the other side, and I so want to break the glass and learn whatever it is that is hidden to me now.
Is it really a barrier, though? Perhaps it is nothing more than me wanting to see more of the future than I’m meant to see. Maybe my lesson is to put one foot in front of the other, doing my best to find the positives in my life and taking the lessons I learn to help me do better the next day. I am famous for overthinking things, and it rarely- okay, never- does me any good. Living in the moment is the only true path to a peaceful life for me, and maybe, just maybe, that feeling of being frozen or stuck is a portent of something new coming my way.
Spring is a time of rebirth and renewal, and I am taking that promise to heart for myself. I am ready for change, feeling my heart open to take in new experiences. After almost a year of grieving for our dog Cooper, I’m ready to bring a puppy into our home and am actively searching. We’ll see what our crazy Tortoiseshell cat Shiva thinks about that. I’m pretty sure that we are in for a wild and wonderful laughter-filled ride.
Shiva: just passing through…
Dan explaining to Sophie that her life is about to change soon with the addition of a new puppy.
All I know is that spring has me feeling hopeful and excited for the changes I see around me and those I feel coming inside of me. Breathe it all in, Denise- every bit of it.