If you have followed my blog for any length of time, you know that I have always struggled with my weight. I’ve successfully lost a lot of weight over my lifetime, but it has managed to creep back on every single time as I have dealt with surgeries, grief, and stress over the years. I am not making excuses; I’ve just never learned the tools to help me face those challenges without using food as an emotional anchor. Perhaps that is all going to change, something I welcome.
There was no dramatic incident this time- something subtle just clicked in my heart and mind. Enough. I just felt tired of feeling the way I do, especially with all of the wonderful things that have happened recently and that are on the horizon professionally and personally, and since my hysterectomy last year, I can’t seem to get back on track.
I have also thought about my mom, watching her health and mobility decline. There are so many things about my mother that I hope to emulate, but her health issues are not part of them. I want to age well and enjoy my life for as long as I have, staying independent until the end. Extra weight does nothing but compound existing issues and open the door for more serious health concerns. The doctor told me that I was at the very bottom of the spectrum for pre-diabetes, something that has never happened before. No thank you if I can do anything at all to prevent it.
I spoke with my wonderful primary care physician who has supported me through the ups and downs and mostly ups, and we decided that it was time for me to go to the UAB Weight Loss Clinic to see if I can finally learn to come to peace with my body, my emotions, and food.
Checking my resting metabolism…
This is different from anything that I’ve tried before…and I’ve tried most every program out there. It is a year-long program in which you meet with a doctor, a dietician, and a behavioralist regularly along with support classes to educate and support you as you learn what and how to eat for your body. No surgery, no gimmicks; just science-driven, common-sense eating with full support on all fronts. I love to exercise- always have- but I keep getting sidelined with back issues and other things…all of which I know will dramatically improve when the extra weight is gone. I’ve got two great walking buddies to help get me back on track.
I care nothing about being skinny; I want to be healthy and fit. For me and my body that means I have a goal of about fifty pounds I need to shed. I’ve done it before- three different times. I hope and pray that this will be the last time and that I learn to handle stress and adversity without reaching for food and drink to numb the feelings. I feel ready for it all, a quiet strength and resolve coursing through me.
I know that I am completely supported in all of this; sweet Dan who has cheered me on no matter what crazy diet I tried, has assured me he will cook whatever and however I need and be there for me every step of the way. The most precious part was his saying he already saw me being successful, that I was already beautiful, and that he loves me, no matter what the scale says.
When I came home from my visit to the clinic, it seems we had a visitor to Chez Gainey. A beautiful box turtle had somehow found its way to the top of our thirty-four stairs. Dan said it was a good omen. I think so, too. In fact, I know so.
I’ll post about my progress to hopefully encourage any of you out there fighting the same battle. All good thoughts appreciated!