I woke up suddenly at 3am in the throes of a full-on panic attack. I couldn’t breathe, my heart was trying to pound its way out of my chest, my mind in flight or fight mode. Struggling to get my breathing under control, I took deep breaths, trying to convince myself that whatever nightmare I’d been having wasn’t reality. I was safely in my cozy bed, Dan sleeping peacefully next to me and the dogs gently snoring. Home.
This was yet another sign that there is a lot of stress and turmoil swirling around me with the addition of added responsibility in several areas of my life and the general craziness of the world. I am very much an empath and I absorb the emotions of those around me like some sort of psychic sponge. That’s not always a bad thing, as it allows me to put myself in someone else’s shoes and feel empathy for them- something I very much want to be able to do. However, sometimes it can become overwhelming when I feel so much so intensely coming from many directions and feel powerless to help or change a situation.Sweet Sophie, my old girl.
I have felt it coming for some time now; I am not sleeping well and when I do sleep, nightmares often disrupt my rest. I’m feeling the need to retreat to the peace of my home more and more and am finding that I become tapped out emotionally much more quickly than is normal for me. Several times recently I’ve come home and had to tell Dan that I was on empty and had nothing left to give that day. My sweet man always holds me, encourages me to take some quiet time to retreat inward and recharge my batteries when I’ve become ‘peopled out’.
My animals seem to stay extra close when I need their gentle and calming presence.
Dan says that he has a surprise coming, something that will help to lift my spirits and refill my empty cup. I can’t wait to see what it is, and I appreciate him giving me something to look forward to. I am deeply grateful, knowing that I can face anything that comes my way as long as I can return to Dan, our peaceful home, and our sweet animals at the end of the day.
Marley and Sophie…
My lesson, as always, is to breathe through it all, to learn to say no (I am the queen of overcommitment- as evidenced by the most insane October I will have ever faced coming up), and to continue to make opportunities to recharge as I am able. For all of the stress, I absolutely love my life and am excited about the future and what it holds. Hopefully I can keep my mom’s good advice close at hand; take one thing at a time and just do your best. When I do that, my cup runneth over with wonderful things and I’m able to give myself fully to everyone and everything in my life. Blue skies ahead!