The View from Here

I would venture to say that this is a site you wouldn’t expect to see in your hotel room. First of all, as a disclaimer; I had nothing whatsoever to do with the demise of this porcelain throne. It was actually located in a relatively nice suite I’d been assigned of a property we were visiting for a site visit. I didn’t find out until after settling in following an exhausting day that things were only coming up, not going down, shall we say. Already in jammies and wiped out, I chose to deal with it until the morning. Not exactly the recipe for a restful stay when you have to go down six floors to use the restroom.

This was my third hotel in as many days; on my drive in from the Denver Airport on Sunday evening the limo that had picked me up was sideswiped…just one block from the wonderful hotel. We weren’t injured, but there were scary moments as the other driver had some pretty amazing road rage going on (even though it was clearly his fault). I was starving and tired from the long day, and about wept with gratitude when the nice police officer took my witness statement and cleared the driver to take me the remaining distance to the hotel. Seriously, who does this happen to? My mother, that’s who. It’s a genetic disposition for we Williams girls to have things happen to us. Odd, strange, and crazy things. Mom used to say, “Only me!” when these events happened, but I’m living proof that I’ve taken the baton and run with it.

This has been quite the interesting trip- and by that, I mean my life. However, detailing the fifty-six years of crazy things that have happened to me at work, on stage (including projective vomiting on a packed stage in front of fifteen hundred people…), in grocery stores, crossing the street, walking my dog…well, you get the idea. Maybe I should save that for another time. My friends have encouraged me to wrap myself in bubble wrap as a precautionary measure. I think they may be right.

For now, I’m on a plane to Reno in a window seat…sitting next to a giant man whose elbows are already digging into my side as he reads his full newspaper. What could go wrong?

*loo¹/lo͞o/nounINFORMAL•BRITISH

1. a bathroom or toilet.