In all honesty, it’s been tough to write for weeks. I feel covered in a heavy wet blanket of malaise that I can’t seem to shake, fueled by the awfulness in our country with all of the hate and division, all on top of a global pandemic. I am an emotional sponge and feel overwhelmed with the intensity of everything that I see and hear. Writing always helps me to sort through my thoughts and feelings, so I’ll keep trying to write it out. I’m working hard to find the good, as I know it’s there- and I know in my heart that finding and focusing on the good is what will get us all through to the other side.
Dan and I abandoned the evening news and went outside to sit and talk on the front patio with Marley, lightning bugs flickering around us. Our sixteenth anniversary (seventeen years together) is on Sunday, the Summer Solstice, and we reflected on the many ups and downs over the years. We’ve been through so much life during our time together, wonderfully magical things, heartbreakingly sad things, and everything in between. We’ve been blessed to have each other to face it all, and perhaps that knowledge rings especially true during a time when it feels that the very foundation of life as we know it is crumbling.
It’s easy to focus on the tough stuff, the depressing news, the rampant fear and the pain and hardship that so many people are facing. It’s easy because it’s there in our faces all day every day; we are living in a major historical event, and I have to say it doesn’t feel good at all. However, even in the darkest of times, there are slivers of light, good people doing kind things, moments of beauty and courage, and if we can just find enough of those slivers we can change the narrative. Yes, it’s far more difficult to see those things during a global pandemic and everything else that is happening in our world, but we have to try. The alternative is just unthinkable.
I’m reciting the things I am grateful for each day to remind myself, a litany of blessings: I am married to my soulmate and we live in a peaceful old home that we love that is also our hobby. I get to share my life with animals. I have a wonderful close circle of family and friends that are precious to me, a safe haven of acceptance and trust. I have a career that I love, and even though everything is weird and unsettled right now, I still will be able to teach and perform with modifications. I have food to eat and health care when I need it. Life is very different, but it is still very much worth fighting for, and worth helping others fight for. I’m also looking for beauty around me; it’s always there.
It’s easy to become depressed by everything that is swirling around us, and it’s also okay to admit that we are sad and struggling; I don’t know anyone who isn’t. But, we can also work to be a part of what is good and right in the world in any small or large way that we are able. It truly is amazing how one small act of kindness or generosity can set off a huge ripple of positive things. Just imagine if everyone did one small act of kindness instead of spreading fear and hate…fear and hate would be bowled over by the tidal wave of good. I know it sounds very Pollyanna-ish, but I believe in the power of positive-minded people set on the goal of helping lift others up, “together we rise.” I’m going to try my best to replace being overwhelmed with the sadness of the world and focus my energies instead on being a part of the solution. There’s no magic wand to fix the deep problems, but I have to try. It’s the only path forward that I see.